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When he finally got the nerve to ask her out, she said yes, and they dated for a month.

But during that time, she cheated on Abe with her ex and eventually got engaged to him.

“Rage,” Reformed Incel says, “has completely taken over.” In the year since Toronto, I’ve followed the incel movement closely, reading its websites and subreddits regularly.

I’ve spoken with more than a dozen current and former incel forum posters, including two site administrators, and acquired logs of an incel chat room from around the time of the Toronto attack.

It was, he told me, “kind of an SJW [social justice warrior] community.” In April 2018, about 20 years after the early incel community coalesced, a college student in Toronto named Sohe Chung decided to walk to the library.

It wasn’t a short walk — the subway would have been faster — but Chung and her roommate, So Ra, wanted to enjoy the sunshine. On the way there, a van hopped the curb onto the sidewalk and slammed into pedestrians.

The subreddits, he tells me, showed him “how manipulative some women can be when seeking validation” — that they are, in his words, “emotional tampons.” Abe still wishes he had a girlfriend.

He writes about wanting simple things, like baking at home with a partner or holding hands while watching a movie.

Abe (not his real name) has dealt with loneliness for a long time.It was a crushing blow, and Abe turned to the internet for support.He found incel communities on Reddit, ones that helped reaffirm his belief that his looks were responsible for his terrible dating experience.Yet incels are not merely an isolated subculture, disconnected from the outside world.They are a dark reflection of a set of social values about women that is common, if not dominant, in broader Western society.

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Nineteen today, he still recalls a ninth birthday at Chuck E.